Eric Ahrendt Writer

Archive for December, 2018

Inventions

Posted on December 28, 2018 by Leave a comment

Lists of the greatest inventions typically include the wheel, electricity, sliced bread, etc. Well, we have our own list of inventions that have dramatically improved our lives.

  • Colored plastic sandwich bags. I know, these are probably on your list of great inventions, too. They work so much better that I’m surprised stores even sell clear bags anymore. You can now put a sandwich in a green bag, and it looks like it’s been left out for a week. That’s progress
  • Left and right socks. Elaine and I own several pairs of these. They have an L or an R printed on them so you don’t accidentally put the wrong sock on the wrong foot—even though they’re identical. Super helpful! And saves time previously spent trying to figure out which sock to put on which foot.
  • Unsubscribe. For minimalists like me, this is indispensable. I unsubscribe from everything as a matter of principle. I even look for the Unsubscribe link in emails from my doctors, clients, and family members, but can’t seem to find them. My goal is to have nothing reach my inbox, ever.
  • Free returns. We order things we don’t want just so we can return them for free. How can you pass up a deal like that? I’ve heard you can keep items you order online, but then they charge you—so who in their right mind would do that?
  • Grandchildren. Ours arrived in 2017, so I’m calling this a new “invention” for us. Eva makes Elaine’s life much simpler, because buying tiny jean jackets and sparkly shoes solves the problems of what to do with our disposable income and what photos to post on social media.
  • Facebook. Kidding!
  • Insulated water bottles. For a serious beverage person like Elaine, the ability to keep cold drinks cold qualifies as a life upgrade. She keeps a high-tech water bottle in the car and in every room, which saves her from ever drinking lukewarm water like people had to do in the Dark Ages.
  • Mute. I started out muting commercials, then progressed to muting entire programs, which makes them much better. Then I tried turning off the picture, too, which means I’m looking at a blank screen. Turns out that’s even better yet.
  • Prescription drug names. Since only old people like us watch TV news in the morning, we get to hear all the drug commercials. The diseases they treat are no fun, but their invented names sure are: Cosentyx, Farxiga, Xarelto, Otezla, Taltz, Verzenio, Ozempic, Xeljanz, Latuda, Tremfya, and my favorite, Vepoloxamer.
  • Dryer balls. Not familiar with them? They soften your clothes in the dryer—without chemicals! We started out with the inferior spiky plastic ones (ugh), but now have four Smart Sheep 100% Premium New Zealand Wool Dryer Balls. The only downside is that we’re frequently stopped by strangers who are impressed by our soft clothes and want to know what kind of dryer balls we use.

These recent inventions and others have enriched our lives and made us wonder—but not all that often—how we ever got along without them.

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Most of these posts are my opinions and observations about marcom writing; others are about somewhat-related subjects I felt were post-worthy. I'm just hoping none of my current clients leave me after reading these.

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